Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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