I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
handjob tips. give me some.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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