Christians are straight up FREAKS
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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