I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't deserve a penis
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
