"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
