Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
