my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
