Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It was confusing and full of hummus
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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