At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
