meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
