I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
