Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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