The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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