it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this will be a night to untag.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize