What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My orgasm happened in two different decades
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
