dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
where does the pee come out of this thing
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
