Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
