You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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