I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
its not stalking. its research.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
