Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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