I think I died a long time ago.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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