I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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