its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
