Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
