Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize