I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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