They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
