i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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