My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
