I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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