Whod you bang
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
