I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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