I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
