better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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