I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
