we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
my liver is dry heaving
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
