I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
