I didn't shave. On purpose
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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