I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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