theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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