you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
