no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
