he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You took a bar mat shot.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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