The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
