Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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