just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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