It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
