saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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