Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
