All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
