we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
