I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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