and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
