Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Randomize
