I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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