I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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