I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
