dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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