we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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