He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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